Why Moving During A Divorce Is A Bad Idea
One of the biggest hindrances in a collaborative divorce often comes when one party requests to move away from the residential state. In a move away there is typically a compelling reason for the move, such as a job, a new spouse, or to be closer to family.
Take for example a true scenario of Joe and his family. In Joe’s situation, his ex-wife requested she be allowed to move to another state to be closer to her family. Joe felt bad, he was overwhelmed, and he believed this would help the entire family heal from the divorce. In hindsight, this was perhaps one of the biggest mistakes that Joe ever made.
Joe was trying to give his children a sense of belonging, and to give his ex-wife the support system I knew she craved. Instead this worked against Joe and become a major challenge. His ex moved from their home state of New Jersey to Massachusetts. His wife’s family was there and the move was going to be a positive one for all invovled. At first when Joe had his visitation with his children, he would travel the four or so hours to his ex’s new home, and he would stay there with their children. He believed that maintaining a routine was in the best interest of the kids. His ex-wife stayed with friends or family during his visits, and at a certain point she started dating and began staying with her new boyfriend. This is where things started going badly.
Although Joe admitted the original agreement was less than traditional, it worked for his family. However, once a new significant other was introduced into the picture, there were other factors to consider. The visitation agreement was no longer an option and Joe had to quickly find new accomodations. Joe now had to make the long drive up to see his children and then find forced activities to do with them, instead of the family all being comfortable in an environment that felt like home to them. Likewise, during overnight visits, Joe was faced with the question of where to stay, and added costs, etc. As all parties currently going through a divorce know, money is always an issue.
According to the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA) if one parent takes the children into another state and with intent to set up home resides there for a minimum of six months, then residence is established there. The UCCJEA requires that all further actions be heard in the new state of residence.
The moral of the story is it is impossible to predict what issues will come up later in a divorce. Because of this it is vital parents establish an equal playing ground to work through their problems.
The Day Hell Broke Loose At Sicard Hollow – Maylene & The Sons of disaster (official)
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